Jeri,
Yes I know what you mean and I am having a very difficult time admitting this to myself because I always thought that I was soooo strong willed. I noticed that my thought patterns mimmic my ex's in alot of ways...too many for me to count actually. And its when I let my mind go here that I suffer the greatest..I loved my husband so very much he was my entire life or so I thought. Betrayal and addiction is emotional death. But now even tho I still have alot of down time I read these posts and I realize just how sick our entire family became...and no one wants to admitt that to themselves do they? I know I didnt. But if I do what you do and thats use it to heal and move on and take it an hour by hour then sooner or later it just has to sink in...at least I sure hope so. Thanks.. I just have allllll these many many bad moments that I go through and I just thank the man upstairs that I have somewhere to bring it....I know I tax alot of you with my rantings and I will try not to do that...