Happy Monday Trinity!
I have battled those EXACT same thoughts for a few years now. I really do believe my mother will never recover, because she doesn't want to. And now that I have come to grips with that realization, I struggle with thoughts of her dying a lot. I read a quote in one of my favorite books not too long ago that went something like this..."I suprised myself when my mother died by crying. I always thought I hated her. Then I realized that I wasn't crying because of I lost *her*, but because of the wasted life she had". And I identified with that so much. Not sure about you, but at one time my mother and I were VERY very close...best friends. Then in the past few years she is another person. I think for us, it would really just release such a burden, because our mothers just aren't our "moms" anymore. And we are tired of being the parent, and worrying about them, and taking care of them, when we don't see any change or effort on their parts.
I don't think that we should worry about feeling guilty, even though I know we do. Our whole lives we have battled feelings of love and hate for them...and so often, the hate overpowers the love.
Best wishes....