Originally Posted by
carly0009 
In a way, I miss the nievity of being 20-something and "knowing it all". I had no self-doubt. I gave opinions as if God shared the details of your lives with me.
As Oscar Wilde said, "I'm not young enough to know everything."
Originally Posted by
carly0009
I've been given a lot of gifts in my life yet I feel paralized.
I think to myself...... do I not feel I deserve this? Am I afraid of failure? What???? What???? I am not trying to feel sorry for myself. I have so much to be thankful for but somehow, for some reason, I am not able to live life normally.
I'm on board with phinneas as far as my own experiences go. I have a history of great accomplishments as well as great personal and emotional failures. It wasn't until I truly surrendered to the fact that I am an addict that I was able to grab my addiction by the horns and wrestle it down. I also had to reach out and for the very first time in my 46 years say, "I need help!"
I am only 23 days sober, and one of my several recent epiphanies is that I no longer experience the same depths of self-doubt and self-loathing. With every wonderfully sober day comes a renewed sense of confidence and pride in my accomplishments rather than wallowing in my failures. That wallowing was alcohol speaking. For myself, there was no possiblity of effectively dealing with my social, business, and emotional problems while I was drinking.
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sure you will find a lot of warmth, support, and friendship here and I hope you'll find a successful road to your recovery.
Earl