I went to my second meeting last night. It was about HOPE. I do have hope that I can break the cycle and hope they themselves don't become an alcoholic or marry one. My AH was very distant still before we left for the meeting. I know he is punishing me and making me feel quilty. I cried in work all day yesterday. I have come to realize that with me going to the meetings, he finally has to take a good, long hard look at him self. He had a friend come over and he was, of course, drinking. When we came home, the same thing. Distant, not really talking to me. Well, that's okay. I just went upstairs to bed. My husband still chooses to sleep on the couch. It's kind of sad because I feel alone, not in recovery, but alone in my home. Like it's just me and the kids and someone else taking up space. I do have hope that he will come around but I'm not keeping my fingers crossed. Even in the two meetings the kids have been to I have seen a little change in the kids. My son talks to me about his dad. My daughter seems to have a little more smile and is now able to give me hug without making a face. Maybe if it was just one hug this week. Better than none!! It's just a start but this is where I have my HOPE.