Believe me it's not easy. I'm sitting here at work and I have tears in my eyes. I guess I;m sad cuz I want something from my AH that he is not able to give me. But you know what? I really don't care if someone sees me with tears. This is part of my life right now and it's not easy putting on a happy face 24/7. This is my life right now and hopefully soon these tears will be gone.