thanks everyone!
first of all, i really appreciate all your input, no matter how different. i don't have kids to watch cartoons with but just this morning i was thinking how great it is to not have a hangover! it's wonderful.
i think there is something especially hard about the UK. i moved here about 6 months ago and even though iw as already drinking, i was shocked... don't know is this is a new thing but drink is EVERYWHERE AND ALL THE TIME. i am a scientist and we have research meetings weekly at 11:00 am. there was champagne last week because someone got a research grant funded! i am not kidding... and every day at 6:00 90% of people are at the pub.
i think going to the pub after work sometimes and the idea of having sparkling water with lemon etc might be the best. but i will be a pub regular (i already was not...).
my last serious relationship before my husband was with someone who did not drink at all so i actually saw him deal with "the question" for years... but his was a case of never having had a drink. i have no problem saying "i don't really like alcohol" to someone and letting it go. if they ask more, they're rude. the hard thing will be the people who know me, have seen me drink quite a lot, and with gusto... and now suddenly, nothing. those people might ask! i guess i'll keep saying "i don't feel like it" and after a while if they recognise my pattern they may deduce that i quit. nothing wrong with it, right?
i guess this will come as a "luxury" to many of you but i think i will miss the nightlife... maybe this is coming from the fact taht i never hit a rock bottom before i stopped. i just wanted to drink less because it was causing problems and i did not want to hit a bottom. so i don't have that many bad memories to look back on and say "if i drink it gets like XYZ"... i have some but not enough that i also don't linger on a life WITH drink... specifically, this weekend i was preoccupied with this social life stuff. i have many interests and occupy myself well with gym, art, music etc. but i have always enjoyed nightlife and i live in London now where it's really good... but it seems everything revolves around getting drunk though so i haven't really been out since i stopped drinking. am i afraid of not having fun without alcohol? i know i know, it's not a huge loss to not go out for a while. one of my faults is that i am impatient and a perfectionist. so now i want to be in recovery and also be 100% functioning, including a perky nightlife sans-booze! how many people, alcoholic or not, even manage that? ;-)
sorry i went off for a bit there. thanks much for all the input. helps a lot!
vee.