hey **{brandi}} i love it when you ramble! this is the place to do it for sure...
two things that helped me that i'll share with you:
the expression: "what you think about me is none of my business"
(amazing the freedom and relief that one gives ya...)
and
diet minutemaid limeade: my drink of choice when among alcohol drinkers. yes. i take my own and everyone thinks i'm weird, to which i say refer back to expression above (lol!)
it doesn't have to be limeade, but for me water and soda weren't cutting it. the limeade is sweet and tart and yummy and i can drink a lot of it--hence the "diet." so it's my magic potion and so far it's working...
you are doing great. your true friends will never leave and, if they wander, they'll come back.