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Any Moms Out There Keeping Sane While Not Using Part 12

Old 01-27-2007, 03:26 PM
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Any Moms Out There Keeping Sane While Not Using Part 12

Here is Part 12 of the Moms thread.

You can find Part 11 here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-11-a-23.html
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Old 01-27-2007, 03:30 PM
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Ha I be first here

scoot good idea, all over here then

Kevin
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Old 01-27-2007, 04:11 PM
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he he he :D

me second. Always wanted topost here. You girls are the best! always come a read a little when Ineed a Laugh, and also for a little insight o n what is going on with the wifey.
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Old 01-27-2007, 04:47 PM
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hi lost.....you're welcome to post with us anytime......ask for advice, or just a laugh, whatever.......glad to know you read us....

kev....i'm mad you made it first!!!

i'm being stood up.....sh!t...
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Old 01-27-2007, 05:14 PM
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Good evening Ayla and everybody...

Rinnie and her Mom just left. She smiled and cooed at me. I guess she thinks her ol Grandpa is funny. She melts my heart...

Have a sober Saturday night everybody.

Steve

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Old 01-27-2007, 05:51 PM
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Ayla, how was your day? What did you buy? How was your Starbucks? Who stood you up???? Want me to come kic some a$$ for you?? They better not mess with our Aylaboop....

We're getting ready to watch "Invincible"- just wanted to pop in and say HI!

Lost- you're welcome to come on in- **WARNING** There is a lot of estrogen flying at times!!!!!!

Steve, Rinnie is going to have you so wrapped around her finger!!
"Graaaaandpa...."bat the eyelashes.....- "Yes, Rinnie, what ever you want....."

xoxo T
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Old 01-27-2007, 06:49 PM
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Hello all. I came home from work early becaus emy middle girl kept feeling sick She called me at work and asked me to come early, she was crying and saying "I'm sick mommy, I need you". Poor dh, I came home and he was so comfused, He didn't even know.
But as soon as I came home she pepped right up, she just needed her mommy home. Now she snacking on rice and drinking some coke.

I missed meeting with my sponsor, but so worth. Hope all if well, no time to re-back. Can't believe we are on part 12!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 01-27-2007, 06:51 PM
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Steve, my girls have grandpa (dh's dad) wrapped up, but esp. the middle one. She's figured that out, that's for sure!!! Her and grandpa are best buds. It's adorable!
He's a great man. Even took my oldest into his heart, and she is from my first marriage. Seeing good people in the world gives me hope.
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Old 01-27-2007, 08:00 PM
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Sleep well and sweet dreams all of my friends.

love you- xoxo T
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Old 01-28-2007, 05:09 AM
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hey Girls

Thanx for the warm responce. I have notices the estrogen flying. Living with my wife I have learned to keep my head low.
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Old 01-28-2007, 05:30 AM
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Good morning-

No middle of the night chatter here?............. kind of eery.

I really hope everyone is ok!

xoxo T
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Old 01-28-2007, 05:31 AM
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Brandi- how is your daughter this morning?
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Old 01-28-2007, 06:36 AM
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Happy Sunday morning everybody...

Yes TamTam, she's already practicing with her little open mouth smile. I missed that with my daughter but I'm making up for it now. I am in heaven...

Brandi...I wish all parents and grandparents could take an interest in their kids, but I guess life is not perfect. I'm just so thankful that I got a second chance with Rinnie. Your kids are very lucky to have your father in law in their and your life. I'm so happy for you all that he is. It means so much!!!

Have a peaceful day everybody.

Steve

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Old 01-28-2007, 07:06 AM
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Morning everyone...and Kevin, I am baffled about the different season and major time difference so...if it's opposite...good night maybe???

I had trouble finding this thread...everytime I clicked on the link that Anna has posted for the new thread it kept taking me to the box where you reply??? Anyway.

Thanks, Tam, yesterday's sales were, well...o.k. I made enough to pay for my booth rent for one day plus 15 bucks!!!I'm rich!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hehe! Hopefully today will be better. There were tons of people there but no one was spending. Other vendors had pretty much same kind of day. Guess people are still waiting for income tax refunds??

I came home yesterday and instead of sitting down immediately and logging on, I actually got busy and cleaned my bedroom..took a while but the good feeling made me want to do some laundry...and vacuum. Now all I like is bathrooms..dread it, but small job compared to hanging up all those clothes and stuff!

Really worried about Jonathan...had a long talk with him yesterday as soon as he got home from work and gave him deadline of March 1st. to find his own place. He was upset and then it was back to I love you's.....and then he realized that he had lost $100.00 that he put back for ticket that he got the other day for no insurance. Ends up that the "fender bender" totaled the guys truck that he hit. It was a small truck with king cab and where the damage is , is supposedly the worst place for the truck to be hit...so now he's pretty much Scre##d and is gonna buy the truck. He is friends with the guy and when it happened they decided not to call police and work it out amongst themselves....Jonathan said some girl came running out of McDonalds saying "I've already called the police...is anybody hurt?", I'm sure she meant well, but the truck was parked and Jonathan was backing into a parking space beside it and when he realized that he was too close he hit his brakes and since it had been raining..he slid into the truck. If she was paying attention she would have known that nobody was hurt....dang it! But I hope he finds his money. He said that he put it in a box under his bed. Gosh, i hope he just thinks so and finds it in a pocket or something. And he's usually home by 7:30 a.m. and he's still not here. I just called and it went straight to his voice mail! This is sooo what I was afraid of. I know he's 21, but all the usual worries are going through my head and if something bad has happened, I just don't know..gotta stop worrying..can't. I just hope he's o.k. saying prayers....

Hope everyone has a good day and all is well with everyone...it seems unusually quiet. I expected to read pages and pages that I had missed since I was last on here.

Alex had a friend over last night and they are already outside skateboarding! They are going to the flea mkt. with me today. I always enjoy it when he goes...usually more so when it's just the two of us, but I know he gets bored quick when he's there without someone "cool" to hang out with. All the girls usually chase him around....once these two girls around his age were there with their grandmother at her booth and I swear they kept coming over and buying t-shirts and other small items just to flirt. I told him that he should come with me every weekend so I'll make more money!!! Well, I need to stop rambling and go to work. Dread getting out. The high here today is supposed to be 33 degrees. But it will be too warm at the market...never know how to dress!!!

Hugs and kisses to all, and best wishes for a Super day!
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Old 01-28-2007, 07:31 AM
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almost forgot..someone sent me this e mail and i just wanted to share it, if you've heard it before, please forgive me...it's the riddle for the day!

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Gore is one.
Liberace never used his on women.
Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi's.
What is it????

If you have heard this before and know the answer...don't say it right away!
Just curious to hear some guesses....then again everybody will probably guess it right away, but me being so dingy....would have never guessed it! So I will check back after I get home.......

Love you all!!!!

Oh...Hi Lost...good to "meet" you. Thought that was pretty wise what you said about checking in here to see things from your wife's perspective....and also very thoughtful to take the time. She must be one lucky gal!

Tam, Steve, just wondering if everyone besides us is sleeping in this morning?
Are we the only ones crazy enough to be up?? Oh well, hope everyone's o.k. and I think I hear Jon's car......yep,whew! he just walked in the door. went with one of his buddy's to look at an apartment. This friend is married and has a baby and Jonathan just told me that they asked him to move in and split expenses...he said he told them naa...cramp my style...go figure!

Going, going, going.........bye!
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Old 01-28-2007, 08:17 AM
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Good morning everyone! It's neat to come on and see people waking up around the world!

Lil'Miss is still sleeping. She perked up pretty well last night, but she's been doing that at nights. So I guess we will see when she gets up. Dh wanted to take her out today, but I told him, like it or not buddy, your home bound. Take he rout, and she'll relapse. This flu is a lingerer.

I didn't get to be gone most of the weekend, but that's ok. I missed talking to my sponsor last night which blows. Soon I'll be switching to working Sundays and that will be so much easier because I can meet w/ her Sunday morning instead of Sat night. She lives right near my work. PLUS, I can get a whole and guilt free meeting Sun. before work too. That will be awesome. No hubby over my shoulder saying 'you be gone until when...?'

I love my hubby, and he's trying so hard to be supportive, but he is also very needy of my time. He was happy I can home last night, but then got all pouty because I announced I'll now be meeting her Monday night instead. No, we can't just miss a week. I mean, I suppose I could, but that would be bad for me.

I also announced I'd go to a meeting today before getting my hair done (aren't you proud of me how I no longer ask, I announce? I am so trained to respond to his emotions it's very hard when he pouts or gets depressed, but I am going anyway, so I must be getting better at it ... what was that book by Beattie? Co-Dependant No More? I think I need to read it.) He says, "But you went to 2 meetings this week, that's all Barbara requires of you", "Yes dear, because she knows I have 3 kids and little free time. But *I* know that 2 meetings a week I struggle, 3 or more I cruize. It's *me* deciding my meetings. Not her, she just helps."
He did not like that. But he likes me sober, so I guess that is it.

Yesterday I was doing very good. I work in a metaphysical book store, have I told you that? And because of the holiday schedules, I have not seen some people that work there in over a month. We have some psychic readers there (it's such a fun place to work) and they have not seen me much either. Yesterday, they and some customers kept coming up asking what is so different about me. The readers said my whole energy has changed, and it was commented on several times that I have lost weight, look healthier, have more energy, seem happier, etc. I was on such a *high*. My boss was gone and my co-worker declared that I deserved to take a long lunch and attend the entirity of my meeting, I normally only get 1/2 houry, during my break, and the whole meeting was about fun in recovery. Boosted my high even more. Even coming home to my sick girl, and knowing I could snuggle her and face this sober was a treat.
But then ... I ended up on the phone with a member of my larger group. (in short, my spiritual group is part of a larger community of 3, soon to be 4, other groups). She was with 2 other women, they were hanging out after making taper candles with everyone all day and I was figuring out how much $$ my group owed, I was at work thus could not make it. Anyway ... seems so long huh? ... she and the other 2 were all that was left and they were hanging out, drinking wine, and playing on their drums. They were all 3 from a group I belonged in when my drinking career started again, before I started the group I am currently in. I drank freely with these ladys as aften as possible, and judged everyone else together while in the process. It's hard to see what a judgemental lot they are.
Suddenly I was faced with sudden fear and irrational thoughts. I have faced my soberity is many different situations, but not yet with my group as a whole. I have not yet had to do that, and really dont want to. I drank quit a bit at our gatherings.
Suddenly I am thinking that no one will like me any more, that it wont be fun any more (been with this group for a damned decade, BEFORE I started drinking again .... ) suddenly wanted to be free with a glass of wine, my girl friends, and my big drum. We loved to go through a few bottles while drumming away. I suddenly found myself wondering if I can still do that? Can I still play with these women, even on my stupid drum, sober?
It was so crazy, so out of the blue, so strong, I just sat and cried. And, being full on PMS, it was so much worse. It was all that damned demon talking over my shoulder, and I could not ignore it. I was having *such* a great day, and one moment of weakness I was battling that demon like crazy. This addiction is damned sneaky if you ask me.

It's so amazing how out of the blue these things come at you! I asked my husband if it will be the same ... will my group, my spiritual family, be the same? And he is so wonderful, even if he is needy. He said, "Brandi, nothing is ever going to be the same. Your living a different life. But you are strong and smart, you'll learn to love it more sober. Just don't drink!" ('Just don't drink and I wont get drunk' is my mantra ... he was calling on that.) Then he just held me the rest of the night.

Tonight, after I get my hair done (SO excited about that!) I have a meeting with some of these ladies. It's called an Elders meeting. Those of us that have been around for a long time, and are leaders of the group in a way, we meet up and make decisions for the group as a whole based on our individual groups desires and what would be best for everyone all together. We are like the care takers.
Well, normally, into the business end of the process, often while talking about issues that are difficult, we'd start some wine and go a few bottles. They both know I am in soberity. One I don't think will drink, at least to start. She'll say it's because she's on a diet, but I think it's because of me. The other would drink anyway, which would get the first to have a few. Unless she really is on a diet. She is addicted to diets if you ask me, and take them very seriously lol
And there I will sit. In the midst of this. Focusing on business at hand and learning to be ok with all this. How did I get here? here every aspect of my life, that I lived before drinking, suddenly has to be re-learned? That my sisters and best friends are suddenly something to be weary of? That my own skin is such an uncomfortable place to live? How did this happen? I thought my life was quite managable, thank you. But take the alcohol out of it, and suddenly it seems more and more it wasn't. I lost control somewhere in there. I functioned, but it wasnt me. Else this wouldnt be so hard, would it?

It's just a new step in this whole soberity thing. I know it will be fine. I know my HP has a good eye on me. I know that my group will still be amazing, wonderful, loving, and my faith will not be rocked. But I am still reeling from those two gals who ditched me because I have an addiction and sought help. Will others jusge me too?

That was a big'ol ramble. Sorry.

Dh is all down and pouty because I'll be gone all day. Man, I love the guy, he's honestly my best friend, but, I so wish he'd get on some antidepresants. I think maybe he did have a problem with drinking after all, and I am better due to a program. I still see him back there floundering, with no way to self medicate this depression he refuses to admit exists. Oh well, what ever happens, I have my tools now, with out a doubt. And I have to be selfish and put my soberity first. I have a strong group of support for my soberity in my individual spiritual group, they have held my shaking hands all the way through, a strong connection with my HP, and a strong program going in AA. I just wish he could find a way to be happy more often with my holding his hand through it.

Baby girl is up, and she's got quite a cough now, so off to start my day. Poor Dh, at home all day with sick kids. But I did it a number of times, so he can handle it. I have to let him do it, right? My freakin hair is getting done today! Thank you for reading this big ol, long, totally rambly, and I-am-sure-not-making-any-sense post lol I feel much better.

Love you mamas!
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Old 01-28-2007, 08:19 AM
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Brynn, post about Johnathon when you know, ok? Worried now too ... but only because your worried. That truck thing sucks, I hope he can find the money some where. It must be around, right? Always good to do a thorough clean when searching for something ... poor kid is probably is a panic around it.
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Old 01-28-2007, 11:20 AM
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hey **{brandi}} i love it when you ramble! this is the place to do it for sure...

two things that helped me that i'll share with you:

the expression: "what you think about me is none of my business"
(amazing the freedom and relief that one gives ya...)

and

diet minutemaid limeade: my drink of choice when among alcohol drinkers. yes. i take my own and everyone thinks i'm weird, to which i say refer back to expression above (lol!)

it doesn't have to be limeade, but for me water and soda weren't cutting it. the limeade is sweet and tart and yummy and i can drink a lot of it--hence the "diet." so it's my magic potion and so far it's working...

you are doing great. your true friends will never leave and, if they wander, they'll come back.
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Old 01-28-2007, 11:24 AM
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brandi--give us the market update! too funny about the boys and girls...i am not looking forward to those days with my kids, but it's so cute to hear about it when it's someone else's!


steve--you are a great father and grandfather. so the past is gone, but your present is wonderful! very inspiring and hopeful to the rest of us! give yourself a big hug from me.
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Old 01-28-2007, 11:53 AM
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where the heck is everyone????
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