I walked away from the computer and remembered a turning point in my life. I don't know if it's the weather or what, but I felt like everyone is sharing so much, so I came back to share another moment.
It was the day I was picking up stuff in son's room. I found an old notebook, and flipped through it to see if it was full to go with the rest of the trash, and I saw written "I hate my mom sometimes". At first I was mad, then hurt, then realized, that's okay I hate myself sometimes too. I hated what I had become. The divorced mother, trying to do everything, and ending up with an alcoholic husband because I didn't have enough other problems. I spent most days mad at the world. I was playing the victimn role well. And no one liked me for it, including myself.
I can't say that things changed over-night, more like slow motion, but just realizing this made a difference. I would like to say that it's okay for your kids to have an opinion, but it's up to you to teach them that it is not appropriate to speak to you like that. It's not okay for them to treat you this way, but to fix that, you have to work on yourself. Look at your own behaviors.....man I hated that part.....but when you start treating yourself better, others soon follow.
For the financial issues, most medical places, hospitals, would just like you to set up payments of what you can afford to pay each month. When they find that it may only be five dollars, they will not care, as long as you are trying to pay it. In my case, after trying to pay the bills from when son was born premature, I sent $20 a month, and after a few months I didn't receive any bills. I called to find out, and it had been paid. The hospitals have extra funds somewhere to cover bills that ppl can't pay, or they write it off. In your case, $700 won't make or break them, so it might be a good idea to work with them. (I know it just happened at a bad moment, but it would be worth calling them back).
We all have days like that. I hope things are going better for you today
