Well this may sound crazy but this is what I did. No matter what was going on, I would call my boys to come and sit. I told them that they both knew familes they really liked. They both knew families they thought were ********. This is a chance to be one of those families they really liked. People in those families get along. Since your daughter thinks you don't do anything for her, it is high time she learned to do laundry. I mean a literal lesson. Your other two kids are old enough to help too. Praise them for their anticipated enthusiasm and in the same conversation, talk about maybe each one of them inviting a friend overnight for a slumber party. I think giving your 13 year old some mature responsibilites and praising her might inspire her to see that you resepect her as a young woman.She'll want more of that. I always used to praise my kids to friends, relative and neighbors within their ear shot. I know you want to smack her smart ungrateful mouth. YOU YOU YOU are the alpha female in your house. One foul word and the mvp and ipod get taken away. The 13 year old would go to Alateen. That wasn't an option.