Thanks guys,
I guess I'm still in an out of control life.
I know it won't happen over night - it's just when it all hits me at once!
He has paid child support the 2 times so far that he's supposed to - it's just that it's only $100! for 3 kids. 'Cause he wasn't working at the time we went to court for the hearing on temporary matters so the court set the payment so low. He started working 2 days later but just for a farmer - kinda an independent contractor.
I've looked into Alateen 2 years ago - there's just none around here. The counselor was originally court ordered for all the kids and insurance has picked up every dime anyway - she just keeps not wanting to go - so far I've been able to get her but with anymore days like today I don't know how long that will last.
I have to watch my toes a little because any bit of not doing something brings the fear of a sheriff visiting again like when AH had his mother call the cops and say I wasn't taking care of or feeding the kids - so they had to do a look thru the house/refrige.