For me, it is always imperitive to look at this from the perspective of the child.
There is a child out there, waiting to be adopted. He or she came into this world expecting, needing and deserving two fully functional, adult, mature parents.
The fact that he is up for adoption speaks to the probability that he has already been deprived of something he deserved to have.
Having lived with active alcoholism and rage issues, I do not believe it is fair to invite this child into a situation that also has active alcoholism and rage issues.
But that is only my opinion - and like armpits, we all have a couple, eh? Which does not help YOU.
Perhaps some of your needs can be met in othe ways? Our local hospital needs volunteers as "baby rockers" for drug addicted babies. These little fellahs need constant soothing, and even then, they can try the patience of a saint.
But being able to rock and sooth a baby who also came into the world expecting the best, and receiving the worst might be a way to mitigate your need to mother... until the time is "more right" than now.
A year might seem like a long time...but a year from now, you might have a better idea of where your AH will be in his recovery. Addiction, alcholism and recovery are all progressive. In one year, something will have changed.
I do wish you the best.