Originally Posted by
FormerDoormat 
I wasn't happy living with an alcoholic. In fact, I was miserable. I believe learning to live with someone who checks out every night with a 12-pack (especially one who becomes a flaming jack-ass when he's drinking) is settling for far less than you deserve.
Can you learn to modify your behavior and make sacrifices to continue a relationship with an active addict? Sure you can. But why anyone would be willing to settle for less than they deserve is beyond me.
Hi.
I've been doing a lot of thinking and reading on this subject.
While I agree we all deserve better and shouldn't put up with anything else
and I've also been thinking about this detaching thing too.
I've read somewhere in another thread that when you detach yourself you become cold, distant and unfeeling. In some ways in dealing with my ABF I find myself feeling that way. If you are going to stay in a relationship like this you should be avoiding feeling cold and shut down. I don't know how its possible.
I know one day I'll make the right decision. My excuse is I'm in a financial bind right now but I am tired of the drama. I want him to take responsibility and leave and to stop asking me what to do. His focusing on me is getting insane. I've never heard such denial.