Just my 2 cents but if I could have ignored my A's problems, I wouldn't even be here right now I guess.
I'm here to learn how to stop carrying my husband's burdens on my own shoulders. I don't drink, they are not my burden's to bare. Unfortunately, because I have been this way most of my life, it's very hard for me not to carry them.
I felt my husband's pains more than he does because he medicates his pain. I just choose not to feel that way anymore. It certainly doesn't mean I don't love him. It just means that I have to love myself too, so that I can be one less reason for him to hurt due to feeling bad about himself for what I have always seen as his flaws and had no problem at all pointing those flaws out to him day after day.
He is who he is, NOT who I want him to be.
That's life. I accept it. End of subject.