First Day
Hi all,
Well today is my first day- its getting close to the time that I would get out the wine and start drinking- and so far so good- I am even going to Church tonight and getting out a puzzle to put together- I made my son go every where with me today- so that I would not buy alcohol- I used to drop him off at the video store and run to the liquor store-but today I made sure he was with me.
I know its going to take some time for my family to trust me again- its been hell on them and I know it- I look at myself and I want to beat this disease- its not fair to them at all- I want to be MOM again- not drunken passed out mom- I have read the Bible and wrote in my journal today- and I am looking forward to going to bed and sleeping- I mean actually going to bed- how hard is the first night without alcohol? I know I have tried it before but some how I feel this is going to be alot worse- I am scared -scared for me and scared for them- its going to be rough I know- how do the rest of you make it- how do you do it one day at a time- how do you do it without relasping? I feel like all I do now is drink and not remember the night before- I don't want that anymore- what did you all do when you had the urge? I know quite a few of you have quit - how do you put the family unit back together? How did I get in this place that I am at? Why me?
Thanks for listening,