Angie,
Nine days are great!
I relapsed many times before I was able to stop drinking, and I have to conciously work at it every day. And I do mean every day. You may have slips. I think you have to realize there are many decision point on the way to putting the bottle in your mouth.
Well I had lost any couth about pouring my liquor into a glass. You must fast forward in time about what will happen if you take that drink, because you are probably telling yourself a few things that deliver you into the store and help you pull the money out of your pocket:
1) I deserve this
2) I'll have just a little bit which won't matter
3) No one will know the difference.
To answer these things:
1) You do not deserve to hurt yourself and make your life unmanagable, and turn your feelings into an emtional roller coaster. The fact is at least half of feeling bad is needing a drink after a bad day, and a good portion of the bad day is the *need* for alcohol, and the bad day is being caused by drinking too much.
2) In my case I really can just have a bit--for a while--but probably within two to three weeks I will have a binge with disasterous consequences, withdrawals, because it is not that I drink too much. It is because I lose control and I do not know how much I will drink at any given time except when I do not drink.
3) One of the things i've been impressed by is how much people *do* notice how alcoholics look and smell. people really do notice. They just never said anything to me. But I hear people talking about other people behind their back, and they are saying plenty!
Do your best. Build on your success, and learn from your failures.