i reckon since we learned to survive as a child by being codependant, it would be natural to carry that into adulthood....how could we possibly know any different???
in the adult world, there are so many occupations that codependants excel in....caregiving roles such as docs, nurses, therapists, teachers,to mention a few....and that is a good thing.
being enabling and codepedant with an active alcoholic just about killed me, tho. because, i guess, that is the fuel they need for their disease to thrive and thrive well, but it was the fuel that bout burned me alive. so it is complex....just too big.
i used to, and still do sometimes, take somewhat offense at being felt like being codependant was my fault....so i learned to think of it differently....like you said....it helped me survive....it was a critical survival tool in childhood.
as an adult, i now know i have a choice to react differently...but dang....it's part of my fabric....how do i go about changing the pattern, or the type of material i am made of....just too big, i'm tellin ya.
mr. c.......these are all the things that i constantly am dealing with.....trying to reconstruct myself, so that i don't repeat, yet once again, a hurtful place for me to be in. i was raised with leave it to beaver, andy griffith show, donna reed show.....that is what i wanted, but it wasn't like my life as a child at all......i carried that through into adulthood......
love to all
jeri