I guess it is where I take pause at times and do feel some degree of offense when I am accused of being an enabler, a codependent, I survived. As a child it was the only way. It is our difficulty as adults to abandon the only thing that once saved us....because it's wrong. As a child you better keep your mouth shut, you better not make waves, you better not say one word about your mom or dad being drunk. You better just shut up and do what ever they tell you to do. It was never enough but it was all you could do. We did not become enablers out of weakness, we became enablers out of a desire to survive. It was really very necessary. It was never a weakness. It was a strength, it wasn't the easy way, it was the only way. It takes a great deal of intelligence and self control to find a way to live that way. I've never heard anyone say that before.