Originally Posted by embraced2000

my picker is broke, too, mr c.

through counseling, i have learned that the chaos in my childhood....i know, i know...grooooaaannn....set a standard that is deeply ingrained in my psyche....i keep reaching out for the familiarity that was defined early on in my mind.....the challenge now is to redirect my thinking and re-define my standard of what a relationship needs to be for me to live mentally healthy.

a huge, enormous task. one that somedays i wish i could just march straight into hell, rather than drag it all outta the closet and shine a light on the ugly truths.

i, too, am attracted to the ones that are bad for me....they really turn me on, so to speak. a nice guy?????......ooohhh, he is just way to normal, and boring, and dull. that is very sick on my part....and i'm working on it with help.

so why are we attracted to the ones that we know, on a subconcious level, will repeat the familiar feelings of yuckiness???? it's just too big. too big.

jeri