Once again, thanks for all the responses. They mean so much.
I took Janit's advice and kind of checked out everyone's background here. At least those of you lovely women who have responded to my posts. Everyone seems to have gone through so much. With the abuse and screaming you've experienced, AHs getting arrested, other women, half-way houses, just so much! I almost feel like I don't belong here. I've never gone through any of that. AH has blamed me in the past for things, but it's never escalated to abuse or real God-awful screaming matches. The hardest thing for me are the mood swings and contradictions, and the pathetic sleeping situation we have (I described that in my first post). I almost feel like I should say 'bye-bye' and quit whining about my situation. You ladies have all been through so much!