An update...
I found this site a few days ago. I didn't mention it to my husband, I haven't even said anything about his drinking to him in quite some time. We've been getting ready for Christmas and arranging to get a new puppy and just going on about our life. Things have been 'normal'. And by 'normal', I mean 'normal' for us. Things have been fine. Which does not mean that my AH has quit drinking. It just means that there hasn't been any mood swings, blaming sessions, etc.
Here's the update: He looked at me tonight, in the middle of watching TV, and said that he was going to beat this. He's never ever done anything like that before. It's always been 'I can quit whenever I want' and that lasts about a day or two or when the shakes and heart palpitations become unbearable. Tonight he said he was going to do everything in his power to stop. He says he's sorry for putting me through so much, he's tired of living this way, he knows he needs to do something. We made the decision together for him to start detox the day after Christmas. Everyone (my family) will be here and he wants to be here too. Telling my family the details won't help and telling his family is an absolute impossibility. It will be easier to get the ball rolling after everyone has left. I know Christmas is still a few days away and a lot could change between now and then, but he seems to be adamant about doing this. It's the first time he has EVER suggested such a thing and admitted that his problem is as serious as it is. He asked nothing of me, which is new too. There are usually those 'if you do this then I'll do that' type deals. No such thing was uttered. He took all the blame and says he knows he is the one that has to make and stick to the ultimate decision. I even mentioned that I was thinking about going to an Al-Anon meeting and he said if I felt like I should go then I should do it. Not exactly what I expected!
Anyway, I am not going to get too excited, but at the same time I do feel some hope. He has never taken responsibility like this before. That has to account for something, right?