My view of al-anon is that it gives people a way to turn the focus away from the A and toward ourselves. Often times we have no idea what's best for us, how to be good to ourselves, and how to not put others ahead of us. Recovery teaches us all these things. Once we learn that and figure out what we're willing to put up with, making decisions that are best for us becomes much clearer and easier.
I also don't think it's very helpful to rush to leave a relationship, if all you're going to do is repeat the exact same mistakes in the next relationship. If I have codie tendencies and other things in my personality that draws me to a certain type of person or causes me to act and react in certain ways, I might as well stay where I am and try to work on fixing
me, instead of rushing off with the same problems and issues, and finding myself in another relationship with someone who's the exact replica of the person I just left. And guess what? Here I am, acting and reacting in the same exact way, all over again. Same crap, different A.
Bottom line - I think once we focus on and start fixing ourselves, everything else around us will begin to fall into place and it becomes easier to decide whether it's better to stay or go.
Hugs,
JG