Welcome soconfused!!
There are so many things that come to mind right now. I have been where you are. I am married to an alcoholic and yes I love him very much. He has a bad temper when he doesn't get his way especially when he drinks. No, our relationship hasn't always been this way. In fact for a long time he wasn't violent with me at all. It took years of getting comfortable with me and his problem with alcohol. I finally had all I could take last week and I've filed for separation. He hit me, he broke my finger. I was left with bruises on my body as well as bruises on my heart. We went through the Detox thing and it didn't help. Why? Because he wasn't ready for it to help. He was made to do that and it wasn't his decision to get sober. So he stayed sober for 1 month and back to it he went except 10 times worse. It was if he was making up for lost time. What I'm trying to say is that you or the law aren't enough to get him sober. He has to WANT it. He has to hit the bottom of the barrel and work his way out of it. My husband and I have 4 kids and the love he has for us wasn't enough to get him sober. After 4 DWI's and spending some time in jail, that wasn't enough to get him sober. I have learned this the hard way and I'm now moving forward accepting the fact that I cannot fix him I can only fix me. You cannot make someone be the way you want them to be. That has been the biggest lesson of my life. I only have control over me and my own actions.
I am saying a prayer for you and I hope you read the power post on Detachment. It is awesome. I printed it out and have it posted on my fridge and I read it everyday. I also have one on Letting Go and that is absolutely the best one yet. I'm going to copy it on this post so that you can read it in case you can't find it.
Hugs,
2many