I have fears that she will drink too much some day and actually die. How can I ignore that?
You probably can't ignore it. What you can do is admit that you are not powerful enough to change another human being or bend them to your will. You can accept that these are the choices she's making and that you are not at fault for her choices. Her choices are hers to make.
Or you can take the 'reality' bent - she is going to die. She could become sober and get herself clean and get hit by a truck. She could have a heart attack and be dead tomorrow - sober or not. We're all going to die. You can not stop her from dying any more than you can stop her from drinking.
I do think a support group or a therapist could help you sort all this out. It's a very tangled web of feelings, and very difficult to pull all the strings apart and deal with each one. It helps to have someone who isn't as emotionally involved to tease apart the ball of emotions and help you examine them one by one.
I also have the mindset that it is HER problem and I shouldn't have to take my time to deal with it.
Ah, yes. It is her problem as the source. But obviously, it is creating a problem for you as well or you wouldn't be posting here. The goal in AlAnon or other similar support groups is not to fix your mother, but to help you deal with all the issues you're having right now being a 'satellite' of an alcoholic. Unfortunately, this disease doesn't just affect the person who has it. It spreads like a mold onto everyone in the vicinity. You aren't taking the time to deal with HER problem, you're taking the time to deal with YOUR problems created by her issues. Those problems are yours, not hers. She is dealing with her problems by hiding in alcohol. How are you dealing with yours? (tone of voice there is not challenging or aggressive, but neutral and caring)