Zara,
I was in the same boat in my 20's.. I had many useless one night stands because I thought I didn't deserve a loving relationship. All the one night stands was when I was drunk. I was also a weekend binge drinker. I felt so dirty and ashamed. I am now 35 and have a wonderful husband and a beautiful life. I quit drinking almost 3 months ago. Don't wait, do it now. If you continue drinking your pain and low self worth will continue. Start doing some soul searching and give yourself a big hug. You need to forgive yourself and eventually become your own best friend. You deserve to be happy..
Joanne