I know your situation is not funny, but it made me laugh. It reminded me of my last few Christmas's with AH, which AH stands for something else at this point. I did throw the Christmas tree on the deck and that is where it layed our last Christmas together. I am trying to re like the holidays, the undermining dread has stayed with me. I guess all those fond memories just don't dissappear when you move on. At least it will be nice not paying for my own gifts.