It's good you found this site....and you reallly should try Alanon and read, read, read. It is so enlightening and helps a ton to "sort things out". I think most of us that have separated have thought about it, planned for it for a long time before we could actually accept doing it. When I say "planned" I mean kinda had an idea what we would need to do legally, They say to go to at least 6 meetings. And, I know the first ones I went to, I wanted everyone to tell me their story and how they made it work or how they got out. It doesn't really do that, but it gives you tools to figure YOUR deal out. Sharing....