Al-Anon, open AA meetings, therapy, discussions with our family doctor. All of this helped me. I think you can see the effects of staying. I guess you wouldn't know the effects of leaving unless you tried it. That's a very personal and complicated decision, I know.
I can't put myself in the shoes of an alcoholic. I can have compassion for the disease and the man, but I no longer base my life decisions on someone else's happiness. I believe if I had children that would weigh heavily on my decision. It does appear from your posts that your children are not thriving in active addiction.
((()))