Thank you for the advise. I just hope for the best. I am not allowed to talk to him and he is not allowed to talk to me due to the court. I did write a letter to him about all the feelings I was experiencing. I sent it to his parents and asked that they give it to him when the time is right. I wrote down everything I was feeling, and how he hurt me.
I am trying to find a place to go for Al-Anon mtgs. I may just end up going with his mom. His parents have been very supportive of me through all of this. His dad is a recovering alcoholic of 20 some years. I just wish I had the same support from my family.