I am new here, and I am not even sure how I am supposed to respond in a politically correct manner....I am a daily drinker myself, screwing up my whole life.
I am thinking the right and correct approach is to send cyber hugs and wish you well, but as a lifetime party guy, and a guy who has been around....I am compelled to tell you this.....the moment you had a child, you honestly need to know....everthing you do will effect his life...my problems now are directly related to my dads drinking when I was a kid...my dads drinking destroyed my family, and sent me on a very long downward spiral....this is not unique and you know it.
I think my best advice to you from one guy screwing up to another, is that you need to really understand that although you may find it hard to care enough about yourself to stop....you now have the option of ruining another persons life.... your son. I don't know how these forums work, but my instincts tell me to tell it to you straight as I saw it in my own life....I, like most kids, looked at my dad like he was the toughest dad in town...like he was a hero or something....I remember this feeling like it was yesterday ....he showed me how to mow the lawn.....loved it.....fast forward....he drank too much, lost his job, left us, didn't pay child support, and never really worked again....I in turn never recovered and I am now here needing help myself....the damage my dad did by letting me down has not ceased even 20 years later...this is reality.....my advice may seem harsh, but it is almost common sense....
My friend, I was once that baby with my dad having issues....my dad did not understand or care enough about what his decisions would do to me....he failed and drinks still although we haven't talked for about 15 years only 30 minutes apart.....man, I say this with all my heart, I do not want you whether stranger or not, to fail to understand your actions effect on your son....you literally are making choices right now that will either give him a life full of possibilities, or a life of misery maybe a lot of us who came here lived....
My advice is to take a bit of time each day to just look at your baby son and think about what damage you could do, and then think about the obvious fact that if you do NOT fail, and you realize how important your actions this day are, that your son will have a chance at a beautiful life.....if you fail, there is no doubt in my mind that you will bring the misery that you and I feel on your son.....it's harsh, but it's true....don't fail man...don't....don't do to your kid what my dad did to me.....