We really did have a great thing going aside from all he did and does to deceive me.
Take a closer look at this statement and consider buying some new glasses. Those rose-colored glasses appear to be clouding your view. A relationship with an alcoholic who constantly deceived you is NOT a great thing.
I think what you miss is the dream of what he could be. I'm sorry you're hurting, kipper, but you deserve better than this. You just have to let go of the dream to see things clearly. Once I let go, I found peace.