Sweetlilbutrfly,
This is only my opinion, but I think it is your husband's responsibilty to deal with his mother.Talk to him...if he doesn't see anything wrong tell him that you do and what it is doing to you. Families can be explosive situations...if he doesn't get it then make plans to be elsewhere when she is around.
Simple? Not on your life but you have to take care of yourself above all else. If they don't like it that is not your problem.
Hugs,
JT