time heals
Eryn:
I am 60 days post-breakup with my AH. 15 years worth of marriage - I love him, he loves me - but I just couldn't be around him anymore. I didn't like who I was around him - I just couldn't function like normal. I was having obsessive thinking about him and such hurt from being neglected.
I can not emphasize enough how important it is to be around normal people. The more time I am away from him, the more I realize how the alcohol effected our relationship and how dysfunctional our lives were.
At first, you'll probably still be hurting and thinking about him even when surrounded by other people. But it will get better. Especially if you get involved with helping someone else in need. Those of us who lived with alcoholics tend to become as self-absorbed and full of tunnel vision as the alcoholic. Lots of people have struggles ... hearing and helping them will help to heal you. (You'll be helping someone who wants help, not fights against it.)
I just came back from white-water rafting with a group of teenagers. It was a totally new experience for me. Trust me, I spent NO time thinking about him while I was busy trying to stay above water!
Get involved with life again and be patient with yourself.
Take care,
EyesOpen