Minx, I'm gonna read through your old posts tomorrow when I get time at work, I really want to see your journey with this stability/boring thing. Because I think I have a serious problem with this.
Designer, thanks for sharing that story about the dinner. I can see some of the similarities you mentioned, R used to get upset and cry over the things he'd done, too-- which left me feeling too bad for him to get sufficiently angry sometimes. I definitely understand about wanting to be close but fearing the moment the other shoe drops, that trust issue was huge.
As far as the gym, get this-- in addition to all my other problems, almost NONE of my favorite clothes, well jeans/pants, from last spring fit me anymore, I was a size 10 at the time and now I can't get into any of my 10 jeans! Had to buy like 3 pairs of new jeans last weekend and some stuff for work in the next size. VERY upset about that, I could kill myself. I like to blame that on him too, I used to joke to my friends (in response to the less serious problems we had), "I can't believe he pulls this **** with me, he KNOWS I'm a stress eater!" lol... Plus on top of the stress and anxiety I've had from the no contact, all of last year since we weren't welcome in anyone's houses in either of our families, we did a lot of eating out, and now I'm paying for it. So yep, it's time to get my ass in gear, and I'll be with you in spirit at the gym. Good luck meeting your hottie there.
Thanks again for sharing.