>Does this make any sense?
Yes, it does. Just like you, I felt that God had turned his back on me. Now I believe that when we pray for God to change someone else, we are asking for something that we have no right to ask; that person must go to God himself and ask for the power to change. The only person I have the power to change is myself.
>What do I do now?
I can only answer you with what seems to be working for me. Find an Alanon meeting. Meet some people who have been there and worked through the pain, who have learned the skills of setting boundaries and detachment. Pray the Serenity prayer. Read the daily meditations. Take care of yourself.
There is hope. God has not turned his back on you.