Again, thank you all for your responses. I am not offended, I need this. I teach special education and I have had this same problem with my students and their families. I had to receive counseling my first year teaching, as it was a poverished area and I couldn't stand the lives some of these children had to live. I had to learn that I couldn't single handily save the world. I know this about myself upfront, so that part is not news to me. I have always attracted people that need some sort of "care".
The only thing about attend meetings myself is that I live in a really really small town. We do not have any AA or NA meetings in this area, much less support for families. The only meeting in are area, which is still not in my town, is not an affiliate of AA or NA. It is a faith based program for all addictions and we did attend those meetings regulary for about 4 months together. I then started going to school working towards my Master's at night and couldn't go anymore, although he did go without. The group became some what of a soap opera due to other members in the group. We did focus on the 12 steps, but the 12 steps as they related to the Bible, not the "real" 12 step books. There were no sponsers, although there were phone numbers given out. There was just no real 12 step work going on.
We did drive to the closest NA meeting several times, about an hour away. But the drive for that was no feesable. So are there other options since this is a resource that is not available to me. He is going to "Celebrate Recovery" at a church close to where he is staying with his mom. She even goes with him. He was going there before we met.