I sympathize and understand your worrying about a lot of what if's. Please keep one thing in mind: worrying does not do anything to change a situation. It may wreck your emotional or physical health, but it won't change a thing. Nothing changes if nothing changes. I am a world-class worrier and I learned that my worrying was a way of wanting to control things. If I worried enough I'd figure out a way for things to fall into place as I wished. No such luck. All I got for my worrying was an upset stomach and a headache.
This may sound like a broken record, but Al-anon meetings and reading their literature will help. There are lots of folks here who can attest to that. I started attending meetings in 1996 and didn't get it at all. Everybody was talking about themselves but not talking about the alcoholic(s) in their lives. What was wrong with these people??? I went for three months and quit going. Fast-forward to 2004: I am now married to my SECOND alcoholic. I am losing my mind. I am a mess. I crawl into an Al-anon meeting. I FINALLY got it. I also re-read Beattie's "Codependent No More." I didn't get that either the first time I read it in 1996. It finally made sense.
Give it a try. Be easy on yourself. And try to focus on yourself. Selfish? Yeah, but in a good way. Stop worrying about others. They can worry about their own business.