BTW... ****
I can completely relate to where you are coming from right now. Reading this post has been helpful. I'm quit back at the beginning of July. Now that the initial days of quitting is over I've been thinking about the whole I can never do this again. It's a really hard thought for me.
I'm settled and wouldn't change anything for the world right now - my life is amazingly better now - I have lost the last 15 pounds of weight I gained drinking (I gained 35) since July. I am focussed at work. My relationships are a 100% better. I am feeling really good.
But I'm 30 so the thought of never drinking again is pretty hard.
I'm not giving up and this maybe a warning sign which is good.
Thanks for starting this thread.