Welcome to SR Zephyr!
Finally admitting to myself that I'm an alcoholic was pretty hard for me and it took many years and some serious soul-searching. Eventually though, there was enough evidence in front of me that even *I* couldn't ignore it.
Probably the top three things that finally did convince me were these:
1. Realizing how many bad things that have happened during my life so far were either directly attributable to my alcohol use, or were at least related to it.
2. Being arrested twice in the span of about a week due to my alcohol use.
3. The physical cravings -- most especially the "gotta get another beer!" feelings that I used to have once I would start (drinking imperative), and the fact that they started coming earlier and earlier in the night, each and every time I'd go out, (like a biological itch that can't be fully scratched).
Looking back, at the end there, it was all pure insanity.