Thanks- good advise and update
I am letting my son make his own choices- and although it is hard- it has to be his choice. When he asks my opinion- I voice it.
I do agree- my son has been in many different environments and can find a way to get in trouble in any of them
He told me the reason the restaurant business attracts so many "dope and drinkingi heads" is it is one of the few places you can make good money(tips) and not have drug testing. So now I know. And the restaurant owners just want to pay cheap help- they don't care if you do drugs as long as it doesn't impact their business
His head appears to be screwed on straighter than it has been in the past after getting in trouble. He actually is doing things to want to change- cut his hair short, got nice clothes, is working in the dean's office as well as the restaurant, enjoyed golfing with his dad instead of sitting around and drinking.
He was honest with me and said he doubts he will go the rest of his life without ever drinking- he hopes to be able to control it. I told him I don't think it works that way -but not sure as I never drank. He is doing outpatient counseling on his own free will and enjoys discussing things with the physcatrist . At this point- I am taking one day at a time and going on with my life( not worry free- but not obsessed with worrying about him) I did the best I could and provided the best support I can.
Thanks all