Don't worry about crying
Hi!
I don't worry about crying. Crying is over rated anyway. Now talking or sharing that is a different story. Today, I felt like I needed to share or talk and I had no one to share with. I can only share with someone up to a certain level. I don't talk to many people because I don't want others knowing my family business. My daughter has a hard enough uphill climb without
people talking about her situation. Most of my friends don't even
know that she was on the wild spin she has been on. So now that she is clean, I don't even mention or want to mention it. And those that do know, I don't encourage them to bring it up. It is
too personal to discuss. Life is so funny. When she was using, I worry constantly about her using. And now that she is clean, I worry that she will use again. I have come to the conclusion that
worry could become as much an addiction as using. The user is addicted to stuff and we become addicted to mental anguish that comes from watching them use. So now we too go through withdrawal. And we can easily replace one worry addiction with another. If I allow myself, I would call her 30 times a days to see if she is ok. This apprehension is insane. I have come to the conclusion that it is because I feel helpless. This is one time I have to wait and see what decisions she makes. I remind myself that she stopped using on her own. And I guess once again, this is one of those thing that I have to toss on God's lap. And I must be grateful for today and let tomorrow take care of itself.
Thank you for letting me share.
Mara