((dvandjc)) Glad you are here and understand what you are saying.
The alcoholic in my life is my exAH. (he just divorced me rather than address the drinking/etc) He is 52yrs and has been drinking since his teens,too. (probably daily for at least the past 20 yrs or more). I understand completely what you are saying.
For me, it reminds me very much like watching my mother die from terminal cancer, EXCEPT that she tried to fight it. She did what she could to save her life..........AH refuses to try. That is what makes it more difficult for me. There IS help for him but he refuses to accept it. She did not have that luxury after a certain point..
It is very frustrating and heart-breaking...kinda like ring-side seats to a trainwreck. I am trying not to watch it,as best I can. It hurts no matter what, but the less I have to have ring-side seats to the destruction, the better it is for me.
Sorry you are going thru this.
Prayer is my advice. For you and her.
Sometimes, miracles even happen!