Hi Scooter and Mara,
I am grateful for finding this site, too. It has given me much insight. I talked to a counsellor over five years ago. She asked what I wanted. I answered, "I want to have peace in my life no matter what the outcome of my son. This startled her and I felt that I had said something wrong or she didn't think it was possible either. It was only when I came to this site and meetings that I see others have found a way whether the addict continues to use or not.
It is so hard to picture for myself. I don't know if I will be able to accomplish it. Sometimes, it feels like a dangling carrot. There but not obtainable.
I believe there are many reason that I refrain from crying. Everyone is counting on me...I have to remain reliable and strong.
It is okay that I scream and react but crying...that is scary for my family.
Last year, when I broke down and bursted into tears and asked for help from my family and a counsellor...I was crying and talking to anyone who would listen. That shook up my entire family.
Crying is suppose to relieve stress...I think I need to cry.
Always,
LInda