Hi -
I think CarolD and (oh man, I can't remember who it was that told you to contact your local AA programs' hotlines) are going to be your best bet.
What is allowable in MT will probably not apply in your state.
You, yourself, might want to contact Al-anon. They are remarkably informed, and their programs totally rock.
If you were here in MT - I'd know what can and cannot be done.
Sorry I can't be of more help. But you're in my prayers, and so's your mom.