Can you force an alcoholic into recovery
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Flushing, NY
Posts: 1
Can you force an alcoholic into recovery
Hi. I'll get right to the point. I can't seem to find an answer to my problem, so here it goes.
I have a 57 year old alcoholic brother who is has been living in my mothers home for the past 10 years. My brother has no interest in getting help and my mother's health is failing from this. My brother basically stays in his room and goes on drinking binges which makes him scream uncontrollably during the evening hours for long periods of time. My mother is beside herself and cannot control or help him. She want's desperatly to kick him out if she knew there was somewhere he can go.
QUESTION? Can you forceably remove someone from your home and place them in treatment against their will?
I have a 57 year old alcoholic brother who is has been living in my mothers home for the past 10 years. My brother has no interest in getting help and my mother's health is failing from this. My brother basically stays in his room and goes on drinking binges which makes him scream uncontrollably during the evening hours for long periods of time. My mother is beside herself and cannot control or help him. She want's desperatly to kick him out if she knew there was somewhere he can go.
QUESTION? Can you forceably remove someone from your home and place them in treatment against their will?
I tried this one time. I talked to someone about this and they told me that if the person was not married and had no kids that the parent could put them in treatment. The parent would be the next of kin but if they had kids or a spouse it would be up to them. I talked to an ER doctor about this and that what he told me.
But....that person will have to prove that they are a risk to themselves and the person that is trying to get them help. He would have to be to the point of suicide or hurting your mom. If your mom is scared of him or if he has tried to hurt her then she can. I had called a rehab center and asked this question. They adviced me to call a mental health center and see what they said. If he gets violet or starts screaming at her she needs to get someone even if it is the cops that can see it too because he is prob gonna say she is just saying these things and he wasnt doing it. She calls the cops on him they can make him leave if they see he is a danger to her. It might not be something she wants to do to her son but it might get him some help.
It would prob be hard for you to get him out of your moms house with out a fight. Mom is just gonna have to take it in her own hands and lay the law down to him. He should have more respect for her than this she is giving him a roof over his head.
If she has a mental health office close by call them and see what they tell you. I hope your mom is ok and stays safe.
Let me know what happens. I will be praying for you and your family.
But....that person will have to prove that they are a risk to themselves and the person that is trying to get them help. He would have to be to the point of suicide or hurting your mom. If your mom is scared of him or if he has tried to hurt her then she can. I had called a rehab center and asked this question. They adviced me to call a mental health center and see what they said. If he gets violet or starts screaming at her she needs to get someone even if it is the cops that can see it too because he is prob gonna say she is just saying these things and he wasnt doing it. She calls the cops on him they can make him leave if they see he is a danger to her. It might not be something she wants to do to her son but it might get him some help.
It would prob be hard for you to get him out of your moms house with out a fight. Mom is just gonna have to take it in her own hands and lay the law down to him. He should have more respect for her than this she is giving him a roof over his head.
If she has a mental health office close by call them and see what they tell you. I hope your mom is ok and stays safe.
Let me know what happens. I will be praying for you and your family.
yes someone can be forceably removed. The thing is once you do it you just have to stick with it and not cave in when they beg to come back or worse try to force their way back in...
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
I would suggest contacting a local substance-abuse treatment center or a detox and asking how to proceed with this and asking what legal means are available.
I wish you peace...
I wish you peace...
Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic....
By the Grace of my HP and people
like you here in Sr i havent had a
drink of alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that im truely grateful
In Feb 90 i had a bad accident that
landed me in the hospital for 10 day.
Then in Aug 90 i tried to end my life.
2 small kids and a 7 yr marriage and
I wanted to end my life.
My family called the hospital first to
find out how to bring me in after injesting
pills the night before....from there i refused
to go willingly and so a court order was issued
for the police to come forceably remove me
from my home and take me to first the "nut house"
which was one day and then to rehab for the
remaining 28 days.
It was in there and a 6 week outpatiant
after care program that i recieved the tools
and knowledge of my disease of alcoholism
and the Steps to guide me in staying sober
one day at a time.
Because of my desire and willingness to go to
any lengths to stay sober i am still in recovery
today some 16 yrs later.
I couldnt have stayed sober with out the help
of my 12 step program and people like u
guys here in SR as well as my belief and faith
in a Power greater than i.
Thanks for letting me share.
By the Grace of my HP and people
like you here in Sr i havent had a
drink of alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that im truely grateful
In Feb 90 i had a bad accident that
landed me in the hospital for 10 day.
Then in Aug 90 i tried to end my life.
2 small kids and a 7 yr marriage and
I wanted to end my life.
My family called the hospital first to
find out how to bring me in after injesting
pills the night before....from there i refused
to go willingly and so a court order was issued
for the police to come forceably remove me
from my home and take me to first the "nut house"
which was one day and then to rehab for the
remaining 28 days.
It was in there and a 6 week outpatiant
after care program that i recieved the tools
and knowledge of my disease of alcoholism
and the Steps to guide me in staying sober
one day at a time.
Because of my desire and willingness to go to
any lengths to stay sober i am still in recovery
today some 16 yrs later.
I couldnt have stayed sober with out the help
of my 12 step program and people like u
guys here in SR as well as my belief and faith
in a Power greater than i.
Thanks for letting me share.
Well... it's really hard to force an alcoholic into treatment. In most cases the addict has to be willing to get help. On the other hand your mom shouldnt be suffering this at all. You guys could get help on your own from Al-Anon, Al-Anon is help to the addict's families.
On the other hand, you *CAN* pressure the alcoholic intro treatment. For example my parents told me it was either treatment or the street. If I really wanted to continue partying I would have chosen the street, but I was a big ***** (I'm sorry for the wording) to even try it, so I did go to treatment, and as time went by I changed my mind about using drugs/alcohol.
It's hard, it's really had, I can understand your pain, something that I went through, but from the addicts side. It's still really painful from the addict's side, probabbly comparable to the families. It's a disease that we don't want to accept. With this I just want you to understand him, but this doesn't justify it.
Best of luck, and my prayers are going to your family.
On the other hand, you *CAN* pressure the alcoholic intro treatment. For example my parents told me it was either treatment or the street. If I really wanted to continue partying I would have chosen the street, but I was a big ***** (I'm sorry for the wording) to even try it, so I did go to treatment, and as time went by I changed my mind about using drugs/alcohol.
It's hard, it's really had, I can understand your pain, something that I went through, but from the addicts side. It's still really painful from the addict's side, probabbly comparable to the families. It's a disease that we don't want to accept. With this I just want you to understand him, but this doesn't justify it.
Best of luck, and my prayers are going to your family.
First of all, I wanted to welcome you to the site. Besides this fabulous board, we also have a whole forum dedicated to Friends and Family (of alcoholics and/or addicts). Maybe you could check them out and work on getting some help for yourself! There are wonderful and supportive people all over this place!!
IMHO, forcing an alcoholic into treatment will probably backfire more often than not. In order to really stop, the alcoholic has to want to stop. However, allowing your brother to continue staying at your mother's house no matter what he does is not doing him ANY good. Maybe you and your mom could sit down with him and let him know that if things don't change SOON, he will have to find another place to live. I know it's tough--especially for a mom--but it could be the best thing for him in the long run.
IMHO, forcing an alcoholic into treatment will probably backfire more often than not. In order to really stop, the alcoholic has to want to stop. However, allowing your brother to continue staying at your mother's house no matter what he does is not doing him ANY good. Maybe you and your mom could sit down with him and let him know that if things don't change SOON, he will have to find another place to live. I know it's tough--especially for a mom--but it could be the best thing for him in the long run.
Welcome fantasyx
Although you may be able to arrange treatment for a family member, I believe he must sign himself in. He needs to make the choice. Even if its due to court order or intervention, without wanting sobriety and making the choice to live sober it may be useless.
BUT
A homeowner has legal rights as far as who may reside in and on their premises, and what conduct is allowed.
Your mother may do well to learn how to set boundaries and limits to what is acceptable behaviour on her premises.
The boundaries might include no alcohol, and they may include no screaming...
I agree that she needs to seek help and support for herself and that way your brother may eventually deal with his problem when he is motivated (the possibility of becoming homeless may encourage an honest self-appraisal)
I wish your family the best..
Although you may be able to arrange treatment for a family member, I believe he must sign himself in. He needs to make the choice. Even if its due to court order or intervention, without wanting sobriety and making the choice to live sober it may be useless.
BUT
A homeowner has legal rights as far as who may reside in and on their premises, and what conduct is allowed.
Your mother may do well to learn how to set boundaries and limits to what is acceptable behaviour on her premises.
The boundaries might include no alcohol, and they may include no screaming...
I agree that she needs to seek help and support for herself and that way your brother may eventually deal with his problem when he is motivated (the possibility of becoming homeless may encourage an honest self-appraisal)
I wish your family the best..
Hi -
I think CarolD and (oh man, I can't remember who it was that told you to contact your local AA programs' hotlines) are going to be your best bet.
What is allowable in MT will probably not apply in your state.
You, yourself, might want to contact Al-anon. They are remarkably informed, and their programs totally rock.
If you were here in MT - I'd know what can and cannot be done.
Sorry I can't be of more help. But you're in my prayers, and so's your mom.
I think CarolD and (oh man, I can't remember who it was that told you to contact your local AA programs' hotlines) are going to be your best bet.
What is allowable in MT will probably not apply in your state.
You, yourself, might want to contact Al-anon. They are remarkably informed, and their programs totally rock.
If you were here in MT - I'd know what can and cannot be done.
Sorry I can't be of more help. But you're in my prayers, and so's your mom.
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