((German69)) I'm sorry for your pain, but it will get better. You are at the begining of a wonderful journey, of self discovery and healing.
I did the same thing to my husband. He has stuck by me (amazingly). He attends Alanon and goes to open AA meetings with me. It has really helped us a lot.
You know, we don't fight near as much as we use to!!
Hang in there!!