I'd spare myself telling him. I'd wait until he's gone and move. If I were to leave, I wouldn't say a word. He'd come home and the good half of everything would be gone. I would see no point in a conversation. Why go through all of that. The next time he heard from me, it would be through a lawyer. A conversation would only get me upset because he would be sure to focus it on what I am not. He's made that clear. I guess I'd handle it that way because once I made up my mind to leave, it would be a solid decision. Once I leave, I'm not coming back. Promises of recovery would not be a factor. I think not having a conversation about it is the first tangible sign that life isn't going to include them anymore. We would all love to imagine that stunned look on their face as we exit. I think we all know we'd get some sweet talk followed b the big FU when it didn't work. I'm not leaving but I'm planning. I'm determined to have a plan and some cash so that leaving is an option I have in an instant. There is also nothing wrong with you leaving it all behind and starting over completely with pink furniture. In the early days I loved garage sales where I could strip and sand, reapolster and paint my new found treasures. Unfortunately that was 20 years ago, now the house is full. This can be a new and exciting move for you. Hope the apt has a nice suny window for your cats.