Chip, keep venting. I reckon half the time I have thoughts about all the people in my life that aren't doing things the way I think they should, it just gets better for me to say something out to other people somewhere. Whether I am right or wrong, that just doesn't matter, it helps me sort it all out by sharing how I am feeling about it. Of course, I have found that there is a right place to vent and a wrong way to vent. I have also found that if I want people around me to start being nicer, that if I start the ball rolling it is amazing how they actually follow. Practice that attraction thing at home, maybe swallow your frustrations there and just try to be the way that you want everyone there to be and maybe your wife will pick up on the behaviour.
One thing you said was that she and you got together because she accepted your drinking and drugging ... well that probably means that she is not perfect just the same as we aren't.
But at the end of the day, if we try all different things and nothing works then walking away is not a bad option. I have just ended my marriage because it really was not going to work with me being clean and him not. It is getting easier and better, but I did try a number of things to start with and sometimes I wish I could have kept trying. But well, what is done is done now and life is changing, I am sober and life is good.
Stay strong, hope sept goes quickly for you!!
peace and love
