next meeting in 4 hrs need one now
Im having a hard time today, anxiety is a 10 and I want to enjoy myself and relax. relax, the word is starting to become foreign. Without xanax or alcohol I barely know what to do with myself. On the positive side I dont even think about rock without something to calm me down, I tried that and the anxiety skyrocketed off the scale. I relapsed and had a few drinks 2 days ago, but that really backfired cause it set me in motion to do other drugs especially coke. Fortunately I was able to stop myself before I did major damage. Once i get started Im off and running for weeks at a time with no break. I just cant do that anymore. I need to get to a meeting today. I havent been to 1 since rehab, but today I am really feeling it. 6:30 seems so far away. I called someone from rehab to see if they could pick me up to go to the meeting near them, but they arent around.
I dont know how to do this, I need someone to talk to and the people around me dont understand.