Thread: advice please!
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Old 09-17-2006, 07:18 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
cal
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Brantford Ontario
Posts: 11
You could try to get this point across when he's sober... and get it in writing.
We do talk about this before he goes out...but he conviently forgets...getting it in writing is a good idea at least then I won't feel like I'm crazy and that we really did have that conversation !!

You could ask him and his buddy to go to the buddy's house
I did that and alot of times they usually do because most his buddies are single but this time the excuse was that his buddies roomate was sleeping!!!!ha ha (the roomate being a 48 year old alcoholic himself!!)(but its ok to wake up a mom and 3kids!!geesh!!)and that its nicer here and we have a better stereo and he didn't want to pass out at his friends 'cause he has to sleep near the cat box!!I think the real reason is that we had a bottle of wine left here....

You could choose to blare the TV and radio when you and the kids get up.
yeah we've done that but...makes for a crazy environment and we much rather have him sleeping and out of our hair when he's like that...I don't like the kids seeing him like that!!
Read "Co-dependant No More" or "Getting them Sober" (select chapters are online).
I'll be doing that...I just borrowed a copy of co-depent and I'll have to pick up Getting them sober...Thanks!!

Does it always happen on weekends when the kids dont have school the next day?
Unfortunately it can happen any day of the week...
if he is pounding on the door you could call the police
yeah I guess I could I was wishing my neighbour would because of the noise the other night but everyone loves my DH he's a very charming person...also I can't let him get charged with anything because we travel back and forth from Canada to the States (we have family in the States and I don't want to jeapordize our seeing them!!)

How do the kids handle all this????
our 2 year old obviously dosen't know and thinks daddy is funny but my 14 year old and 12 year old get very upset( at least my 14 year old has dedcided to NEVER drink because of him!!)

He chooses to drink all night. OK, his choice, he is an adult and has that right.
yeah thats what I tell him...but that he has to pick the right time and place....

I'll share my solution with you. I threw him out and refused to be a part of his life while he was actively drinking. Worked like a charm
yeah I've done that too...my problem is that he's so unpredictable...it was almost easier when he drank ALL the time now he goes sometimes months in between where he really gets himself together and I start to relax and trust him and rely on him again and then when you're not expecting it wham he's on a binge this is a whole other topic though!!
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